Developing Effective Communication Skills - A Life-Long Task
Nearly a hundred years ago John D. Rockefeller said "The ability to deal with people is as purchasable a commodity as sugar or coffee. And I will pay more for that ability than for any other under the sun." That statement remains as true today as it did when Mr. Rockefeller uttered those words - both our personal and professional lives are significantly impacted by our communication style.
Effective communication is a subject that has long interested and challenged me. Although I may never get to the "exceptionally skilled" category, I plan to enjoy the learning process, of which I consider this blog a part.
Can we talk? ...
Effective leaders share many traits – courage, decisiveness, integrity, motivation and stewardship, to name a few. What sets these people apart? What makes others want to follow them? They are individually and collectively powerful communicators
The most important skill required of a good communicator, and often the most challenging to perform well, is first and foremost, be a good listener.
Steven Covey addressed this need in his 7 Habits of Highly Successful People. “Seek first to understand, then to be understood,” and nearly 2000 years before Mr. Covey, Epictetus said, “We have two ears and one mouth so that we can listen twice as much as we speak.”
Good listeners ask themselves “what” questions. “What is going on in addition to the words I’m hearing?” What background or point of view is the speaker revealing?” Furthermore, good listeners may ask the speaker “what” questions. “What can I do for you? What would you like to see happen?”
If you find yourself interrupting or finishing the speaker’s sentences, take a mental step back and refocus your attention. For most of us, developing good listening skills takes practice (and patience!)
Give the speaker eye contact. Nothing says “brush-off” quite like someone who won’t look at you. Resist the urge to “multi-task” during important conversations; focus on what’s being said, as well as on any non-verbal cues.
The Institute for Safe Medication Practices reported that physicians who intimidate or berate caregivers are contributing to medication errors by reducing the likelihood that anyone will approach them with questions or concerns.
Are you safe? Do your colleagues and others feel comfortable approaching you? If not, you’re blocking a flow of information that is vital to your success. Courtesy and kindness are not only positive traits, they are essential to leadership.
Do your best to be known as someone who treats others with respect, particularly when disagreements arise. Separate issues from personalities, and avoid personal attacks. Making statements like “that’s ridiculous” or “I don’t expect you to understand” will only create barriers. Most people don’t leave jobs or organizations, most leave managers or supervisors.
Look for areas of agreement and make positive statements like “how can we make this work?” or “I need your best ideas about how to fix this.”
Learn the art of negotiation. Avoiding conflict may just be a way of running away from something you need to face. Practice disagreeing without being disagreeable.
Effective leaders are multi-dimensional communicators. They often excel in both verbal and written communication through use of articulate, concise language.
Communication is often non-verbal, as demonstrated through use of correct dining etiquette, a relaxed manner in social situations, or a neat, professional appearance. The implied lesson – someone took the time to learn what to do, as well as when and how to do it, and applied that knowledge over time.
Improving communication skills is a life-long task. Individuals who really want to be effective communicators continually strive for improvement; they know it’s worth the effort. Practice may not ever “make perfect” but it will make all of us better.
55% of all the communication is non veral so watch out for those signs
Posted by: Communication skills | October 13, 2005 at 03:19 PM